


High Heels, Collar and Leash

by Candamira, Nia_Kantorka



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Banter, Doombots, FrostIron - Freeform, Hangover, Herbal tea, High Heels, Humor, Intervention, M/M, Mutated Animals/Creatures, Pranks, The Swarm - Freeform, collar and leash, inspired by cheesy 80/90s love songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 14:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10492449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candamira/pseuds/Candamira, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nia_Kantorka/pseuds/Nia_Kantorka
Summary: When Tony and Loki put everyone in danger by bantering instead of battling, Steve consults his team members to concoct a tailor-made lecture. Their combined creativeness results in an unconventional intervention. Which - to the culprits' secret delight - includes high heels, collar and leash.





	

**Author's Note:**

> We always have the best time and most fun when working on a thing together, and writing this fic was no exception. We hope it shows!
> 
> All our thanks go to plumadesatada, who put together this wonderful fest and granted us the honour of the inaugural post. Waiting for the art claim post, noses glued to the screen, we fell in love with rennemichaels' art as soon as it appeared in all its monochrome splendour, spiced with exciting Rosso Mars red highlights. Renne is not only a brilliant artist, but also a creative alpha reader and brainstorming partner. Thank you for working with us! More thanks go to the wonderful gracerene, who did an excellent beta job. Any remaining typos are due to authors cackling and missing keys.
> 
> Disclaimer: These characters are based on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which belongs to Marvel Entertainment Group and associates. All quoted lyrics herein are the property of their songwriters. No copyright infringement intended.

That last scotch yesterday had definitely been one too many. The thrice damned sunlight, reflecting off the metal hulls of hundreds of Doombots crowding the street beneath them, hurts Tony's eyes. Not even the closed faceplate brings any relief. He groans and recalls too late they can all hear him over the com. Loki and Clint, the sons-of-bitches, snicker mercilessly.

"Tried to outdrink an Asgardian deity again, Tony?" asks Clint as he rappels diagonally down between two houses somewhere between sixth and seventh Avenue to shoo the bots towards Washington Square Park. Open spaces always work better to smash these fuckers to pulp.

"He tried and failed abysmally," Loki says smugly and way too cheerfully for Tony's liking. It's kind of unfair that he looks fresh and pristine, his slim figure clad in futuristic leather from head to toe.

"Gods," Tony groans.

"Present, dear," Loki says, causing Tony to roll his eyes which he regrets immediately. Even the discreet information displays of his HUD are too bright; if only the fucking Advil would kick in eventually.

"Guys, stop bantering and concentrate on killing robots for a change," Steve's voice booms into Tony's ears. His headache kicks up a notch.

Washington Square is crawling with silver bots, chased there by the other Avengers coming at them from all sides.

"Good job, everybody," Tony says.

"You are aware that you did not help at all, Stark?"

"Fuck you, Space Princess. Someone has to keep up with kill statistics. Nat, you're last. Only 143 down, are you serious? Cap's leading with 256."

"Oh please, we all know Jarvis is keeping track. What about you adding some points to your score?" Bucky rips a leg off a bot and throws it at Tony, flipping him a metal finger.

Tony dodges and activates his repulsors. The blast sends glinting robot parts everywhere and despite the shock-absorbers soothing the jolt going through his body, it makes Tony's headache worse. "Gotcha," he murmurs. Fuck, this is much more fun when he's not suffering from a serious hangover.

"A bit more dedication would be desirable," Steve says, and Tony can hear his frown through the fizzle of the com.

Loki materialises next to him, aiming his voodoo at another throng of robots. Green light flickers over metal, and circuits smolder. The stench of burned plastic swirls through the air.

"Ugh, that stinks. You ass, look for your own corner to slaughter bots. These are mine." Tony's about to fire another repulsor blast, when Steve's shield beheads the group of bots he's aiming at. "Okay, Cap, if you want to do it alone…"

"What's wrong with you?" Steve asks, sighing in exasperation. Tony is not in the mood.

"Don't get your spangled pants in a twist, not all of us have an enhanced metabolism, alright? _Some_ of us actually get a headache and have to deal with it."

"But not all of us are as dumb as you and try to drink our Asgardian friends under the table again and again. Who's the genius here?" Nat says, undeterred by Tony's whining. She fights her way from under the trees into the open, leaving a trail of metal scrap in her wake.

"That's me, and there wasn't a table involved," Tony murmurs, dizzy from the constantly updating information scrolling across his faceplate.

"You mean, you do not remember a table being involved," Loki says.

"If there had been you, me and a table, I'd remember, no matter the amount of scotch consumed."

"Oh, I know tables that can stand more than—dodge!" Loki drags Tony in an elegant downward spiral as Mjölnir soars over their heads. "Careful, brother!"

Thor's laughter thunders across the park and sends a ripple through the treetops. "I thought you might need an invitation to join the dance."

Thank god, the Advil is working now. Otherwise, Thor's roaring would have split Tony's head in two.

"One god should have been enough to take care of such a minor inconvenience," Loki says. "But, as always, you wait for your little brother to come to your rescue. I will have to tell Father, you know."

"Then I will tell our dear mother that you – again – stood by and wielded your tongue instead of your staff. Come on, produce a bit of that green magic!"

"Boys, boys, calm down," Nat says.

"Would you all stop your arguing and help us over here," Clint demands via the com, while he, Bucky and Hulk make short work of their corner of the park.

"Why? You're doing great, going by the nice little explosions I spot over there," Tony replies, firing a half-assed blast at the last five standing robots. "So, done. See, I won that battle for you. Man, you'd all be lost without good ol' Tony, huh?"

>∇<

Debriefing is always boring. Loki is glad when Rogers eventually calls it a night.

"Are you ready for another lesson in the bacchanalian arts?" he asks Stark on their way out of one of the tower's conference rooms. Outside, the headlights paint red and white lines across the dark silhouette of the city.

"You two stay here." Rogers' strained voice holds Stark and him back.

Next to Loki, Stark sighs and Loki hides his annoyance behind his impenetrable Asgardian mask.

"Relax, Capsicle." Stark stops on his way and slumps against the wall.

He raises an eyebrow. "Captain?" It's a challenge not to let too much irony seep into the title.

"To say I'm disappointed by your behaviour today puts it mildly. Aside from being barely helpful, your constant bickering distracted the others. You put us all in danger, and that has to stop. With Wanda and Sam on a longer mission, I expect the rest of the team to give their best. And when I say team, that includes you both. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Stark grumbles next to Loki.

Loki keeps his features bland, just nods and says, "If that is all, Captain?"

"Dismissed."

Rogers is rarely that taciturn; he must be furious under his professional façade.

"That guy has no chill. I'd say it's an age thing, but you're way older and not that sour-faced," Stark says as soon as they are out of earshot.

"I am flattered. Do you think that icy attitude has something to do with him being cryoed for too long?" Loki pushes the button for the elevator.

"No." Stark purses his lips. "He's simply a stiff, compliant man with a fetish for fair play and team spirit."

"Why so bitter? Certainly something can be done about that attitude, am I right?" The elevator arrives and the door slides to the side whirring softly. Loki enters and flashes Stark a smile, who lifts his head and meets Loki's eyes.

"You are." He presses the button for the workshop level. "Let's get to work."

>∇<

Everything is prepared. Tony was the first in the kitchen, eager not to miss a single second of the fun. Sitting on his favorite stool at the counter, he snickers silently over his coffee mug while he watches Steve scrambling eggs and frying sausages.

"Come on Steve, I'm starving," Clint whines.

"Nobody's keeping you from cooking, you know?"

The pot whistles, and Bruce's steeping his disgusting herbal tea concoction. "Eggs need time to congeal fully, otherwise the Maillard reaction won't add flavor to your meal."

"Don't get all science bro on me first thing in the morning, Bruce," Clint says.

Nat, in her typical morning grouch manner, buries her face in her mug of black coffee. She doesn't even look up when Bucky and Loki enter the room, adding a whiff of leather and metal to the breakfast scents filling the air. Loki winks at Tony, then saunters over to the coffeemaker.

Bucky looks over Steve's shoulder at the sizzling eggs. "Great, breakfast! There's nothing better than a huge portion of protein—"  


> _"Love is in the air, everywhere I look around_  
>  _love is in the air every sight and every sound_  
>  _and I don't know if I'm being foolish_  
>  _don't know if I'm being wise_  
>  _but it's something that I must believe in_  
>  _and it's there when I look in your eyes…"_

The soft voice of John Paul Young floats through the room, putting a smile even on Nat's lips.

"Jarvis, is that you?" Steve scans the rooms and looks up at the ceiling in obvious bewilderment.

"I am completely innocent, in case you were wondering," Loki says. "Of my many talents, singing is not one of them. I do like the melody though. It conveys so much emotion..."

Tony has a hard time to stay serious at Loki's blatant lie.

"Yes, Mr. Rogers," Jarvis says over the music, "but I can't stop it, it … just happens. It might be a glitch in the code."

Tony nods, keeping his poker face. "Might be, Jarv, but I quite like it…"

"Me, too!" Bucky's eyes are hazed and he leans against the stove, metal arm touching Steve's hip. "I barely remember the Seventies, but this song stuck."

Tony allows himself a small smile. "Don't think I have to fix it right now, Jarv, do I? As long as you don't report a breach of security I enjoy seeing you developing some personal quirks. We have to work on your musical education though."

"Thank you. But Sir, I won't be able to develop a personal taste if you interfere with my choice of songs."

"Your logic kicks ass. I'm curious what other catchy tunes you're gonna please us with."

The song goes on. Nat hums along, while Tony exchanges an amused glance with Loki.

>∇<

Loki enters the elevator last, greeted by the sound of what must be a Rock song from the late Eighties. Stark's crash course in Midgardian music proves more than useful, the scratchy voice belongs to Steven Tyler. 

> _"Love in an elevator_  
>  _Livin' it up when I'm goin' down_  
>  _Love in an elevator_  
>  _Lovin' it up 'til I hit the ground."_

"This is getting ridiculous," Rogers grumbles while he presses the button for the training area. "Jarvis, could you turn it down a bit?"

"I prefer Heavy Metal." Barnes frowns at the ceiling, and Rogers looks surprised upon this remark.

"Good thing that Thor isn't around this morning. It might give him ideas for when Jane's around the next time," Barton says.

Loki shudders. "I cannot detect the cultural value of this Rock music, but if it serves Jarvis' personal growth…"

"Don't you diss our culture, Reindeer Games."

Loki is tempted to smack Stark over the head for always using these ludicrous names, but refrains, not wanting to give himself away. "What culture?" he asks instead in his sweetest voice.

"There seems to be a theme," Romanov adds grinning. "You have a talent for matching the songs to the situation, Jarvis."

"Interesting choice, Jarv." Stark doesn't hide his smirk.

>∇<

"Forgot my elastic. I'll be back in a minute." Bucky stays in the elevator while everyone picks their favorite warm up station. Tony chooses the climbing machine. Firm ass cheeks won't come from nothing, at least not for him and Clint.

Everybody, except Loki, that handsome bugger, has developed a nice sweat when the elevator pings and the door opens for Bucky. 

> _"Burning lights_  
>  _Hang over head_  
>  _Body high_  
>  _Swimming in my bed_  
>  _We ignite_  
>  _We're slipping like sand"_

Steve looks at his friend, skipping rope whirring around him. "Hey Buck, it's only started when you entered the room."

"Maybe you inspire Jarvis," Tony says between gasps.

"That's one horrible choice of a song." Bruce looks slightly green around the gills.

"Sorry, Mr. Banner, it just came over me." Jarvis sounds contrite.

"Be grateful Jarv didn't go for _Danger Zone_ ," Tony replies.

"Yes, that one might have put me into killing mode," Nat threatens while the chorus starts. 

> _"Take my breath away_  
>  _Take my breath away_ _…"_

Loki descends the stationary bike. "The quality of Midgardian lyrics leaves me breathless."

>∇<

"Is it Doomsday again?" Stark asks, suiting up.

"It's not Dr. Doom today, it's Dr. Demonicus." Rogers puts on his helmet and stows the shield on his back.

"That's the ugly guy with the horns, isn't it?" Barton asks.

"Yeah. What is it about horned guys and their craving for world domination I wonder? You tell me, Lokes."

"They are imposing, dear."

"Only by Asgardian standards. Here on Midgard, a suit is more impressive, no matter if made of iron or three pieces. You did cut a fine figure in Stuttgart."

"Oh, my heart."

Stark is rolling his eyes at him and Loki answers with his most charming smile.

"Not again, you guys. Focus! We'll need our full power as a team against Demonicus and his mutant squad," Rogers says in a flat voice, blue eyes narrowed.

"The car is waiting." Romanov looks deadly in her black combat dress. "Let's go and catch some strays."

"See you later, guys," Stark says, powering up his repulsors.

"Wait, friend Tony." Thor leaps after him.

"I take the bike," Barnes mutters behind his mask.

Loki concentrates on his magic while the remaining Avengers enter the SUV, and vanishes.

>∇<

"Disgusting." The hairs on Tony's arms would raise if the suit wasn't so tight. "Krakens are horrendous. At least they have to stay in the wa— Fuck! What did I do to deserve this?" He points at one of the beasts climbing up the quai of Battery Park, leaving a trail of gooey mucus behind.

"Well, they look definitely more normal than these flying...are those Mantas?" Clint stares baffled at the sky.

"Be aware of their stings," Thor advises, striking one of the creatures with a sickening squashing sound.

"And their fangs," Steve adds, his shield soaring through the air and cutting another monster in two.

That's the moment Bucky enters the scene on his bike and Tony lowers himself not to miss what's gonna happen now. Loki appears in his peripheral vision, a flash of green and gold. 

> _"Dear, I fear we're facing a problem_  
>  _You love me no longer, I know_  
>  _And maybe there is nothing_  
>  _That I can do to make you do_  
>  _Mama tells me I shouldn't bother_  
>  _That I ought to stick to another man_  
>  _A man that surely deserves me_  
>  _But I think you do!"_

"Oh, fucking hell," Bucky shouts.

"That's not funny anymore," Capsicle grouches.

"What is going on, my friends?" Tony can see Loki smirking at his oblivious brother's question, and has a hard time to suppress his giggles.

"Where does it come from?," Nat asks with a frown. "Jarvis isn't around."

"It's Bucky's fault, I guess," Tony says. "It started when he arrived." 

> _"So I cry, I pray and I beg_  
>  _Love me love me_  
>  _Say that you love me_  
>  _Fool me fool me_  
>  _Go on and fool me_  
>  _Love me love me_  
>  _Pretend that you love me_  
>  _Leave me leave me_  
>  _Just say that you need me_  
>  _Love me love me_  
>  _Say that you love me_  
>  _Leave me leave me_  
>  _Just say that you need me_  
>  _I can't care 'bout anything but you…"_

The song plays on, and Loki says, "That is some caterwauling."

"Hate it," Hulk booms, ripping arms off a kraken and throwing the smashed remains back into the sea.

"I am in serious concern about Jarvis' sanity."

"Didn't we establish that it can't be Jarvis?" Clint asks.

"It's definitely not Jarvis," Nat says, back pressed against Bucky's and fighting off several tentacles trying to sweep her from her feet. "It's coming from you, Barnes." She dodges another attack. "From your arm, to be precise."

"Buck, your arm is pink."

"Yeah, and your shield, too."

Clint snickers and Thor roars with laughter. Steve blushes beetroot and finally Tony can't help himself and cackles. Loki's looking very smug while he magicks more mutant Mantas into paste. 

> _"Lately I have desperately pondered,_  
>  _Spent my nights awake and I wonder_  
>  _What I could have done in another way_  
>  _To make you stay_  
>  _Reason will not lead to solution_  
>  _I will end up lost in confusion_  
>  _I don't care if you really care_  
>  _As long as you don't go."_

"There's a message on your arm. If you can keep that beast here occupied for a second, I'll try and read it." Nat steps back from the kraken.

"Sure. In for a round of arm wrestling, Squidgy?" Bucky grabs a tentacle with his metal arm. Nat bursts with laughter.

"What does it say, Romanov?" Tony can't believe how calm Loki's voice still is.

"I...a heart...Steve – I love Steve!"

"There is a similar note on your shield, friend Steve."

"Obviously that one's for you Bucky," Tony says, still laughing. "Shall I read it out loud?"

"No." Steve's annoyance is audible via the com. His anger turns on another kraken whose tentacles are cut off full force by the blurry pink shield returning to Steve's hands.

"But I'm sure Bucky wants to know." Tony clears his throat. "I...a heart...Bucky."

"You love me?" Tony can't read the emotion swinging in Bucky's voice.

Cap just groans and throws his shield into a wide half-circle with all his enhanced power. 

> _"So I cry, I pray, and I beg_  
>  _Love me, love me_  
>  _Say that you love me_  
>  _Fool..."_

The song stops mid chorus and starts again when the shield has returned into Cap's hand. 

> _"...me, fool me_  
>  _Go on and fool me_  
>  _Love me, love me_  
>  _Pretend that you love me_  
>  _Leave me, leave me_  
>  _Just say that you need me_  
>  _So I cry, and I pray for you to_  
>  _Love me, love me_  
>  _Say that you love me_  
>  _Leave me, leave me_  
>  _Just say that you need me_  
>  _I can't care 'bout anything but you…"_

Tony's helmet fills with a hubbub. Seems like the cat is out of the bag.

" _You_ did this together." Pointing at Tony and Loki, Nat sounds nearly impressed.

"You're such assholes."

"How did you do that?"

"...that will have consequences."

"Brother, your mischief seems to be contagious."

"Oh, come on, you two. You can admit it. It's not as if we didn't know before!" Tony says.

"It was about time, brother. Someone had to take matters in hand. Is heralding the truth not our godly duty?"

>∇<

Steve isn't looking forward to discipline his most free-spirited team members, but it has to be done. He clears his throat. "We were all affected by Tony and Loki's antics, I want to have everybody a say in their punishment. It should be a lesson in obedience. They must learn to value their team mates more and treat us with respect. Any ideas how to go about it?"

"Yes. Obviously, the military approach – pulling rank – didn't work. The only other scenario I can think of where men eagerly obey, is a sexual one. Dom/sub, if you know what I mean."

"Nat, that's fantastic," Clint says. "I'm sure Tony has bossed around enough people, he should do the bidding. It's about time someone gets him on a short leash! Which calls for a collar. In red."

Steve frowns in discomfiture.

"Then we need to make it more difficult for him," Nat says, mischief glinting in her eyes. "What about matching sexy high heels for Loki? To make that godly strutting a bit more uncomfortable?"

"That takes it too far for my liking. I want to embarrass them in front of us – like they did with Buck and me – but forcing them into sexual interaction would be an abuse of power I can't stand for."

"I agree. But what about a sham? They play pranks on us all the time, why not pay them back now in their own field of expertise?" Bruce asks.

"Well, everybody knows about Tony being a playboy. Does Loki has a similar reputation?" Bucky asks Thor.

Thor claps Bucky's shoulder and booms, "Do not worry about the Man of Iron, friend James. My brother has been lording it over others for over thousand years now, and there have never been any complaints throughout the realms."

Steve isn't too fond of the idea, but he's asked for input and can't dismiss it now. Even less when he doesn't have a better idea. "Maybe it's an experiment worth trying," he says, letting his hesitance seep into his voice.

"It is. Let's get on with it!" Nat's confidence overrides Steve's remaining doubts. "Clint and I will fetch the necessary supplies."

"Jarvis, please tell Tony and Loki to meet us here in two hours." Steve asks.

"Of course, Mr. Rogers."

>∇<

When Loki arrives at the Avengers' meeting room, Stark appears from around the corner.

"Payback's due now, huh?"

"I nearly feel at home. Being summoned before Odin was my favorite pastime."

"Well, usually it's Fury who chews me out. His anger I can handle, but Cap…that stern and disappointed grandfather face..." Stark shudders.

"Rogers is too good a man to come up with a creative punishment. He will harangue us. A lecture that will make us feel guilty and discover our sore conscience. It will be over in three minutes. Come." Loki taps the panel, and the door opens, revealing the grim faces of their team members.

"Circletime? Seriously?" Stark slouches into one of the chairs arranged in a horseshoe formation. All tables have been pushed to the long wall opposite the window front.

"This reminds me of Asgard's throne room." Loki sits down at Stark's side and crosses his legs, brushing off an imagined fluff from his sleeve.

"What's up? It must be serious when you don't even offer coffee and cookies. If Bruce is allowed his herbal tea, I want cookies. Really, guys. Manners."

Rogers nods gravely. "No cookies for bad boys. As far as I know disrupting your comrades' concentration during battle by playing cheesy love songs doesn't show good manners either."

Stark frowns. "Cheesy love songs? You know Jarvis is listening, don't you? I wish you would be a bit more considerate, he's just beginning to develop a personal taste in music!"

"He has a point, friend Steve."

"Boys, back on topic," Romanov scoulds. "Tony, Loki, you're here because we all think it's time for an intervention. We've tolerated your misbehaviour long enough."

"Yeah. You guys definitely have a problem," Barnes says.

Loki raises an eyebrow at that.

"We'll give you an opportunity to work it out," says Banner in his quiet, calming voice.

"Now I'm all ears." Stark leans back in his chair, crosses his arms, and rests his right ankle pertly on his left knee.

"You better be, Man of Iron."

Loki can't suppress a sigh.

"Okay." Rogers doesn't look too happy, but has that stubborn expression Loki knows leads nowhere nice. "Here comes your chance to prove, once and for all, that you are able to obey any given order." He throws Romanov a help-seeking look. "Nat, they're yours."

"Okay, gentlemen. Before we get started – strip down to your skivvies!"

"Sun-of-a-gun!" Stark sounds as surprised as Loki is. Rogers is more creative than he would have given him credit for. Of course he doesn't show his reluctant admiration and keeps a straight face.

"You asked for it." A green flash later he's vanished his clothes, sitting there in silken black pants, while Stark clumsily steps out of his trousers, his styled hair slightly tousled from pulling his t-shirt over his head.

Barton reaches for a bag he passes over to Romanov, a big grin on his face. "Presents, fellas."

"That's when the whip makes an appearance," Stark stage whispers in Loki's direction behind a raised hand.

"Close enough", Romanov says. When Loki looks back, a pair of Rosso Mars-red killer heels is dangling from her hand. "For you, Loki," she purrs, "come and try them on."

"You'll look stunning in these Louboutins," Stark says in a husky voice.

"Usually I prefer Manolo Blahniks, but these will do for now." Loki sends Stark a mischievous smile while he slips into the shoes. He has changed gender often enough to know what he is doing. Careful not to show his growing excitement, he turns elegantly on the spot, catching a glimpse of several dropped jaws – and he has not even walked a single step.

"Wait a second." Loki stops and Romanov pulls out a matching red leash and collar. "For Tony. Put it on."

Loki cocks his head the slightest fraction, takes the items and, swaying his hips, struts back to Stark who swallows and flashes him a heated look through thick, black lashes.

"This collar will look quite fetching around your throat, Stark."

"Call me Tony, Space Princess. Putting a leash on me strikes me as the perfect opportunity to change to a first-name basis."

>∇<

Tony's pulse picks up pace while he takes Loki's figure in. His eyes follow the elegant line of Loki's instep, beautifully arched in the high heels, up his legs to the sharp curves of Loki's hip bones peeking out from under the waistband of his pants. He wants to run his fingers through the god's black hair which flows down his back in a staggering contrast to his pale skin.

Bucky's voice interrupts his staring. "Jarvis, this calls for a cheesy love song. Please check your playlist for one matching the occasion."

"My pleasure, Mr. Barnes." 

> _"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy._  
>  _I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need._  
>  _I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do_  
>  _I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning._  
>  _A reason for living. A deeper meaning._  
>  _I want to stand with you on a mountain._  
>  _I want to bathe with you in the sea..."_

"Savage Garden? Seriously? Tough shit, Jarvis."

"Just doing my duty, Sir."

"Traitor," Tony mutters, then looks Loki in the eyes, not at all surprised to find them dancing with amusement. With a come-hither gesture he beckons Tony off his chair. "The great Tony Stark at my disposal."

Tony stops before him.

"On your knees." Loki sounds in his element now, making Tony shiver.

Catcalls fill the air. Even the otherwise rather stoic Barnes hoots at the scene. Thor nearly knocks Barton from his seat, while Banner discreetly snorts into his herbal tea. Rogers looks nauseous, but doesn't utter a word.

Grateful for the floor heating, Tony drops down on the warm tiles as graceful as he can.

Loki bends forward, smelling of crisp winter mornings, and closes the collar around Tony's neck with long, slender fingers. "Perfect," he murmurs, running a cool fingertip along the line where the leather touches Tony's skin. His green eyes burn into Tony's, who has trouble maintaining his calm.

"As much as I love to see you at my feet, I'm sure the Captain wants to see how gorgeous you look wearing the collar. Get up, Anthony."

The leash, its end wound around Loki's hand, is long enough for Tony to stand straight and even grants a bit of latitude. All the weight lifting and sweating on Avengers' duty has paid off though he's not as lithe and lissom as Loki, he's in the best shape of his life.

Stepping back, he shifts his weight on his right leg and opens his arms in a Ta-dah-gesture, presenting his broad chest and a cheeky smile.

[Art by Renne Michaels (tumblr)](https://rennemichaelsart.tumblr.com/post/159055728766/title-high-heels-collar-and-leash-author)

Loki's enraptured laughter is music in Tony's ears.

"I think we've seen enough for today," Steve says, spoilsport that he is.

"Fuck, Cap! You're no fun. Just when it gets interesting," Clint mutters.

"Atta boys. You are able to follow commands." Tony's not sure if it's praise or disappointment ringing in Nat's voice.

"Fine. We all agree it is time for Anthony and I to take this conversation somewhere more private," Loki says, blithely tugging him out of the room.

>∇<

"Does anybody have an idea what that is?" Barton points at the strange black cloud approaching them. The words are ripped from his mouth by the strong wind whirling around the Avengers gathered on the rooftop terrace of Stark tower.

"I know that aggressive humming," Romanov says, red hair streaming behind her. "It's bees. Monster killer bees."

"What is it with animals gone mad these days?"

"Actually, they are not just mutant killer bees. A crazy Nazi scientist transferred his conscience into them. They are called Swarm."

"Ah, the blessings of science." Loki knows Anthony is smirking under his HUD.

"Is there a way to kill them efficiently?" Rogers asks. "There are a lot of them."

"They are fast, toxic, and an intelligent entity. Our best bet is to combine forces and watch each other's backs."

"Lokes and I have the best mass destruction weapons, we take the front. Thor, would you back us up? Maybe we can diminish enough to slow them down." Anthony soars up into the air, waving for Loki and Thor to come with him.

"Okay," Rogers says. "Everyone else, down on the streets. Let's hope Shield's evacuation teams have done their job."

The last thing Loki sees before he joins Anthony in their task is Rogers hitting the elevator's button.

>∇<

Loki looks breathtaking, sending bright flashes of magic in all directions, spiraling through the air, leather coat swirling around him. Giant bees fall from the sky like hail, hitting streets and cars with rich thuds.

It's fun to blast as many as possible to pulp with the repulsors. Out of the corner of his eye Tony sees Mjölnir cutting a lane through the Swarm.

Only a few dozen bees escape the butchering, obviously not enough to keep the remaining Avengers busy because Bucky shouts through the com, "That must have been one hell of a _conversation_ , guys! You actually pulled your weight today."

"I hear jealousy talking. What do you think, Lokes?" Tony asks while one of his blasts scorches another bunch of bees. Slushy ash splatters against the nearest building.

"I agree. The concept of an intervention worked wonders. I am sure Rogers and Barnes would benefit greatly from one too." The smirk on Loki's face is cheerfully mean and Tony wants to kiss him desperately. Vaporising bees is simply not as satisfying.

"I'll tell Jarvis to compile a soundtrack for them as soon as we're back at the tower," he says, ignoring Steve's growling. Cap's shield leaves a pile of dead insects in its wake.

"I'm out of ammo," Nat shouts.

"Doesn't matter. We're done." Tony blasts the last fuzzy bee out of the sky. A translucent wing drifts slowly to the ground, gleaming in the sunlight.

"Great job, everybody. That's what teamwork must be like." Steve sounds pleased, and Tony just can't stand the patronizing tone.

"Jarvis," he whispers, "add _Eternal Flame_ to that Steve-and-Bucky playlist. They deserve it."

Next to him Loki gloats.

>∇<

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone wants to take a look at Jarvis's compilation of love songs (the authors regret nothing):
> 
> [Love is in the Air](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmE-4XJt2n0) by John Paul Young  
> [Love in an Elevator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Yrhv33Zb8) by Aerosmith  
> [Take My Breath Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx51eegLTY8) by Berlin  
> [Danger Zone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siwpn14IE7E) by Kenny Loggins  
> [Lovefool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI6aOFI7hms) by The Cardigans  
> [Truly, Madly, Deeply](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQnAxOQxQIU) by Savage Garden  
> [Eternal Flame ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSoOFn3wQV4)by The Bangles
> 
> Follow us on tumblr: [candawrites (Candamira)](https://candawrites.tumblr.com), [niakantorka](https://niakantorka.tumblr.com)


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